The Realities of a Stay at Home Mom

Now I’m not writing this for anyone to feel sorry for my situation, during this tough time in our economy I am sure many families are feeling the pressure as I am. My husband and I were talking before he left for work tonight about moving and trying to find a space big enough for our little one and us. It’s so hard! I am in Colorado unwillingly due to my husband’s career. And let me say, it’s not like the midwest prices I was always used to. I talk to my family back at home and there is no doubt my eyes have opened to the costs of living in a city. I always knew it was a harder than living out near farms where no one has heard of but these never ending price raises are so difficult. Inflation has really wrecked me and many other families in America. I have been working hard trying to find remote work with my previous military experience, but man is it hard! I know many people can say that I can simply just work in person anywhere, which is true, but as a mother, I want to stay home and ensure I am here for those precious moments in my daughter’s first year of life. I am constantly flooded with posts on social media of parents experiencing inadequate care for their children in child care settings. Now I’m not saying all child care facilities are bad! I just have such a looming fear of something bad happening to my daughter. She is 5 months old and I’m still rolling over watching her chest rise to ensure she is breathing. I even have a hard time letting trusted family members babysit her for a few hours! I know many other moms or parents can relate to my feelings here. She’s my baby! Even when I was working after my maternity leave all I could think about was if she was sleeping well. Is she breathing? Is her dad having any trouble with her? What if the work phone rings and I hear the worst news any parent could hear? It flooded my head constantly. I could barely think about work or having conversations with my co-workers. Now the next conversation is just the price of child care. I always had access to the military child care system, but by the time I had separated, I was still waiting on a list for my daughter to even have a spot. So, I considered non-military facilities, the prices were not doable for our small income, even with me and my husband both working. I just feel stuck in a rock and a hard place. I would LOVE to be back working, I feel so empty staring at my living room walls everyday, but in all honesty it just doesn’t feel financially doable for our family to put her in child care and me to go to work. Most if not all of my income would go to her being able to stay in those facilities. Most of the time I wish I was just able to live near our families, have the help and support we desperately need, but unfortunately, I am stuck on the other side of the country with just me and my husband. But hey most of us are stuck somewhere financially, no one is alone in these struggles.